desperation
by enough-for-everyone
Summary: John's getting married, what will Sherlock do?


_**A/N:**_ _This is my first time posting something like this, so I hope that there isn't much wrong with it, enjoy._

_**disclaimer:**_ _I do not own any of the sherlock characters._

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"Hello Sherlock, you know it's been three years since you jumped" John stood in front of the gravestone, flowers in hand, and shoulders slumped. He hated coming here, but today it had to be done, he had to tell Sherlock what the big day was. Looking down at the ground that lay below his feet to talk to the man that supposedly lay below, "I've lost hope in you, I thought that you would leave me a sign that you were still alive, but you haven't, do you have any idea how much this has affected me." tears began to stream down Johns face as he knelt down to set the colorful bundle of flowers on the bed of the gravestone changing the subject to something less emotional. "I'm getting married today Sherlock, I didn't get all dressed up for you, you git." John smiled remembering the ever present smile on Sherlock's face during an interesting case. He missed those days that danger was a constant factor in his life. "I'm sorry that I can't wait any longer for you to come back, I need to move on or I will break." standing up straight and stiffening his shoulders, he reached out to lay his hand on the top of the headstone. Watching his hand shake he clenched his hand into a fist only to reach out to lay his shaking hand on his best friend's stone. "I hate you, for leaving me behind, good-bye Sherlock," with that he spun around and limped away.

Over on the sidelines, watching as the short blonde man walked a ways away and paused stiffening, a tall man wrote furiously in a small black leather notebook. Snapping it closed he wraps his coat tightly round his pale, skinny body, twisting his collar up to cover his face he turned away from the graveyard, leaving John to cry by himself. He didn't want to but now was not the right time to reveal himself to him, soon, but not yet. Walking down the sidewalk he glanced back to see John looking after him with a pale face. He ran as to not be seen.

/ ; )

Sherlock sat in his knew apartment that was so unfamiliar to him, 221B Baker St. was no longer open for him to live in, but this new building was very wrong, there was no way for him to acquire the equipment to do his experiments neither was there a way for him to acquire body parts that he could keep in the fridge, there was barely even anything that he could deduce except for himself and his new apartment. The one thing that bothered him the most was the lack of qualities from his old flat mate. He would often sit on the couch and think back to the days when things weren't as difficult, when neither he nor John had to suffer like this, without each other. These thoughts would often lead him to walk down to Johns work or back to 221 Baker St. It was rare to run into John because of his absorbance in his work and Sherlock's avoidance of him. On those rare occasions he would deduce certain traits that were different than before, pulling out a black notebook that he had taken to carrying around.

His last thoughts had somehow led him to his own grave. He dared not get too close knowing that it wasn't the best thing for him to be there. Then something remarkable happened, John came around the corner to stand in front of his grave, flowers in his beautiful calloused hands. Sherlock watched as John limped towards his grave, pulling out his notebook he noted John's new limp and wrote the causes of it. He could not help but stare and the wonderful man, he could not move as he watched John begin to cry, tears streaming down his cheeks. Sherlock felt as a pain began in his chest clutching at it to try and make it go away he watched as John paused before walking away. Quickly noting John's shaky hands he flipped up his collar and walked out running when he noticed John had followed him out the entrance.

Waking up to the sound of his phone buzzing at him he flipped over on the couch with pure annoyance on his face. Picking up slowly he slapped it to his ear hearing his brother's voice on the other end. "Do something Sherlock, he's finally broken" "what are you talking about Mycroft?" "He's getting married today because he's given up on you, you need to tell him you're still alive" Sherlock froze before he dropped the phone swiftly getting up and preparing to walk out the door. He found himself sitting in the back of a church where people began to file in to sit, waiting for the couple to be.

/ ; )

Looking at himself in the mirror John saw how nicely he was dressed and wished Sherlock was here to see. He remembered back to the cemetery where he had seen a ghost, Sherlock running away from him. He couldn't believe his eyes, he froze, not able to move or talk to see if he was real and not just a dream. Shaking the memory off he straightened his tie and opened the door to the room filled with people unknowing of his past. before he could exit Mycroft stopped him in his tracks, "you can't do this John, you know the truth behind this wedding." groaning he glared at Mycroft who stood in his way, "we've been over this, I know what I'm doing" Mycroft quickly retorted "no you don't, your making a mistake and you know it." John stared at him not knowing how to reply before he simply said "move Mycroft, I'm going to my wedding." Mycroft sighed as he stepped out of his way but continued to follow him through the double doors of the church.

Rushing down the aisle he walked up the small steps to stand facing those double doors that his bride would enter through soon. Mycroft stood beside him eyeing the crowd warily. John didn't understand why so he decided to look out as well, scanning each face for something or someone. Just as the music began to play and the double doors opened, he spotted the thing he was looking for, Sherlock sat in the back of the room, silently deducing the event. Their eyes met before John turned to Mycroft to see if he was real, Mycroft slowly nodded his head, his eyes filled with sadness before it quickly disappeared into his neutral facade. He turned back to look at Sherlock with longing, smiling as Sherlock pointed towards the one walking down the aisle towards him in a sparkling white dress. Mary was the one he had found to sow him back together after Sherlock left, she loved him the way he wanted to love Sherlock. He was alive and John was getting married, it was too late to cancel and leave Mary for Sherlock.

In all this time, Mary had reached the steps of the altar where John stood; he grabbed hold of her hand to politely help her up. They stood on the altar ready for the wedding as John flipped Mary's veil to reveal her face and her long red hair wrapped up into a bun. He smiled her looking out to the crowd to find Sherlock who's eyes made the happiness drain out of him. The priest began to speak, but John was not listening anymore, he was trying to think of what to do, looking at Mary and then looking at Mycroft. The priests words sprang to life again as he spoke the words that Sherlock had been waiting for, "does anyone object to these two marrying?" Sherlock sprang up yelling "I do," quickly stumbling down the aisle, finding himself at the bottom of the altar. Staring down at Sherlock he found himself to have tears in his eyes as they locked eyes with each other.

Sherlock spoke quickly before his moment was gone, "I've always loved you John, I'm sorry I had to leave but it was to save you, I never expected you to do his, you know why you're really doing this." John stared at the man for conformation and giving a quick glance at Mycroft and his bride he stepped down to where Sherlock stood, "I love you too and oh have I missed you." stepping the last step towards each other Sherlock brushed his hand across Johns cheek bone as John reached up to place his hand on the back of Sherlock's neck. They both moved at the same time, pulling themselves closer to each other allowing their lips to meet for the first time. Gasps erupted around them, Lestrade whispered a small "finally" while Mycroft looked on them with approval, but they were oblivious to their surroundings.

Drinking each other in, they clutched to each other, once Sherlock was satisfied he pulled at John's top lip with his teeth trying to pull them open. John reluctantly allowed it, opening his mouth slightly allowing Sherlock to push his tongue past John's teeth. Their moment was broken when Mary grabbed onto Johns arm to pull him away from Sherlock. John reluctantly stepped back to face Mary whose face had turned a bright shade of red. John looked down in confusion before he finally realized that he was kissing Sherlock in front of the crowd that was expecting him to marry Mary. He immediately began stammering through an apology, "Mary, I...I'm sorry, I didn't..." Mary wasn't listening anymore; she reached up to slide her hand across Sherlock's cheek leaving a red handprint behind. The smacking sound reverberated around the room leaving silence in its place; everyone stared pondering what they would do. "What do you think you're doing kissing my fiancé?" Sherlock looked at her with amusement glancing at John letting a devious smile spread across his face.

The room was silent until Mycroft stepped forward to the top of the altar facing the awaiting crowd; "I suggest we head towards the reception area." people gathered themselves and steadily streamed out of the room leaving Mary, Mycroft, John, and Sherlock alone together. Mary looked at John with questions he didn't know how to answer, instead Sherlock took control of the situation looking at Mary with disgust, "this is simple Mary, only an idiot couldn't understand the situation." this didn't help Mary understand, but confused her more, "what was that?" John didn't know how to answer, but he didn't have to, Sherlock spoke for him. "This..." he moved his hand around himself "is the epitome of John's love, if you don't like it then get out." Mary's face flushed with anger as she turned to John, "is this true John?" pausing for an answer, she found none, "answer me," John could only think of one thing to say, "yes and I'm sor..." he didn't finish before Mary's hand jumped forward hitting him hard across the face. John pressed his hand on a big red handprint that matched Sherlock's turning to find tears streaming down Mary's face, silence fell over them until Mycroft stepped forward, laying his hands on Mary's shoulder. "Let's go for a walk," and so Mycroft led her out the doors leaving Sherlock and Watson alone.

Watson broke the silence first, "why are you still alive?" Sherlock froze at this question looking at Watson with lonely eyes, "I didn't want to leave, but I had to, for your own safety." silence fell over them before Sherlock smiled and pulled John closer to him, "I've missed you," John paused before answering, "I've missed you too." pulling each other close Sherlock pulled John up until their lips met once again. They clutched to each other, pulling each other's mouths open so that their tongues could wraparound each other. Their tongues danced around each other until they broke apart to catch their breath, leaning their foreheads against each other. "I love you," John spoke in a whisper, panting the words. It took a few seconds for Sherlock to catch his breath before he spoke, "I know you do, let's go home John." they turned to walk out the door, clutching each other's hands, ready to continue their lives together.

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_**A/N:** That's it for now, if anyone wants me to continue I will, but for now this is how I'm ending it. If you see any problems please tell me and I will try to get it fixed, thanks._


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